Silent No Longer

 I was inspired to raise my voice and be silent no more. I am starting my blog with this first post because it is important. Not only is it important to me, but it should be important to others.

You see I should not have to keep this in. This being my past. This post will be uncomfortable for many to read. But that is why I am writing it. We need to be able to face the uncomfortable.

So here I am writing one of the most uncomfortable topics I have ever written about. I was inspired to do so because of a post on my sister's blog about shame. I have realized in order to rid myself of shame, I need to speak the truth and not be silent. Because it needs to be said and it needs to be heard.
I was sexually abused for a decade by my oldest brother. Along with this abuse, I was also molested by a babysitter on multiple occasions. This will be a shock to many and will raise questions. People may ask, why talk about it now? Because I am ready. I am ready for people to know that detail about my life. I am ready to be another voice shouting out against the pain that so many young girls (and boys) have suffered and are suffering.

The more people I tell the more liberated I am. It gives me freedom to talk about the chains that once bound me. The only awful thing is how common my pain is. But this is why I need to speak. This is why I need to be heard.

I used to hate myself because of those shackles. I felt ugly. I felt worthless. I felt SHAME. I somehow changed that thinking. I decided that no, I wasn't any of those things, I was who I chose to be. No one who has been abused in any way shape or form is worthless. No one who has been abused should feel shame or feel blame because of what has happened to them.

This is why I need to say that I was abused, because those who tell the victims of abuse to keep quite about their pain and their suffering are putting shame on those victims. Victims of abuse in the home are most often told to keep that abuse a secret because it will ruin their abuser's life or it will ruin their family's life. This needs to STOP. No one should keep their abuse a secret, be it past or present. In order to heal and to stop the cycle of abuse we need to start telling the truth and not keeping secrets.

People might say that I shouldn't say who my abusers are, but that continues the cycle of abuse and shame. So if you ask me who they are, I will tell you. I will tell you exactly who they are. Because I am not ashamed. To those who may have experienced abuse, you should not be ashamed. You are more than that horrible thing. Love yourself and express your pain. To let out a little is to heal a little. Do not be afraid to be honest. Secrecy is what kills, honesty is what saves.